How to overcome social anxiety and grow in self-acceptance

If fear and nervousness make it hard to get out, from grocery store runs to concerts, it may be time to address what’s going on beneath the surface. Here’s how to overcome social anxiety and reclaim your life.

Your heart is racing. Muscles tight. You can’t stop replaying what just happened.

A social interaction.

Whether it’s a wedding reception, networking event, or college reunion, social anxiety can leave you physically and emotionally drained. The struggle is real, especially when it keeps you from everyday moments. 

If this feels like your norm, you don’t have to live with this constant strain on your mind and body. 

This article dives into social anxiety—what it is, how it shows up, and how you can learn to interact with others with more ease.

>> MORE: Black women are worthy of mental health support, too

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety typically involves intense fear or nervousness in social situations. You may feel vulnerable or unsafe in public spaces or highly self-conscious when talking with others.

“It can affect someone’s ability to develop and maintain friendships, perform in front of others, or simply be present in group settings,” said Dr. Brianna Gaynor, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and director at Peace of Mind Psychological Services. “They may avoid large crowds or everyday interactions that require engaging with strangers, like ordering food or asking questions.”

More than shyness or being introverted, social anxiety symptoms can seem overwhelming. And feeling judged, dismissed, or underestimated—experiences Black women know all too well—only intensify the anxiety.

>> MORE: What to do when dealing with high-functioning anxiety

Signs you may have social anxiety

As with any condition, signs and symptoms can look different from person to person, but fear is often at the root.

You may experience the following persistently in social situations ¹.

• Intense fear of judgment, embarrassment, or humiliation.
• Overanalyzing or criticizing your behavior after a conversation.
• Expecting a worst-case scenario or negative event in social settings.
• The feeling that your mind went blank, and it’s hard to communicate.

Social anxiety can also show up physically, such as:

• Rapid heartbeat.
• Sweating.
• Nausea or upset stomach.
• Trembling or shaking.
• Chest pains.
• Shortness of breath.

When social anxiety disrupts your life, leaving you isolated or avoiding everyday activities, it’s okay to explore strategies that help you thrive.

>> MORE: Can hormones cause anxiety?

How to overcome social anxiety: 6 strategies worth exploring

The goal isn’t to conquer all of your fears overnight but to practice small habits that build courage through self-acceptance.

#1 Notice what triggers your anxiety

When do you feel most anxious? Is it with large crowds? Friends from childhood? When the attention is solely on you? 

By noticing your triggers, you can uncover the “why” behind your reactions. This allows you to create a plan to address it and better meet your emotional needs in those situations ². 

#2 Identify unhealthy thought patterns

Harsh self-talk can fuel social anxiety. Thoughts like “I’ll never be good enough” or “I don’t belong here” can quickly spiral out of control ³. But when we identify unhealthy narratives, it gives us space to respond in healthier ways, like through positive affirmations for anxiety. 

#3 Explore cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

CBT can be an effective treatment for social anxiety, teaching you how to identify and kindly replace negative thoughts and behaviors with ones that build self-worth and resilience ⁵. 

A therapist trained in CBT can guide you through exercises and help you unpack deeper root causes, like perfectionism, rejection, or past trauma.

>> MORE: How therapy can help you heal

#4 Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness simply means focusing on the present moment. It’s a critical skill to manage anxiety, which tends to attach our minds to future events that may or may not happen.

Through breathing exercises, stretches, or simple guided meditations, you can notice when your mind is clinging to a worst-case scenario and gently bring it back to the present moment, easing social anxiety symptoms.

#5 Gradually try anxiety-triggering situations

Slowly putting yourself in situations that may trigger your anxiety can help you build a skill set to overcome it. Exposure therapy typically works best under the guidance of a therapist once you’ve established a set of tools or strategies to help relieve anxiety in the moment. 

The goal is to build your comfort level over time as you begin to view the situation as less threatening.

#6 Embrace self-acceptance

This is the game-changer because social anxiety can thrive in fear of failure, self-doubt, and self-rejection ⁶. 

But by practicing self-acceptance, you can get to know and love yourself unconditionally. That means you can fumble your words, choose a path others disagree with, and screw up the entire presentation—and you’re still enough ⁷.

>> MORE: Affirmations to remember you are enough

Why self-acceptance eases social anxiety

Fear, whether of criticism, judgment, or rejection, is a significant driver of anxiety ⁸, and is often rooted in the belief that you don’t measure up.

Self-acceptance counters this low self-view.

You can shift from constantly questioning your abilities, decisions, or achievements to embracing who you are, even on your worst days. It can help you feel more secure, resilient, and at peace.

When to consider getting help with social anxiety

If social anxiety interferes with your relationships or job or simply feels too overwhelming to deal with, the right support can help.

“Therapy can help you challenge negative thoughts and fears connected to certain social situations and reduce the physical feelings of anxiety in the moment,” said Dr. Gaynor. “It’ll take work, but you can develop the tools to live a fuller, happier, and more productive life where anxiety no longer dominates your everyday plans.”

There’s strength even in seeking professional help. Acknowledging and listening to your emotional needs is a skill, one that can help you heal on a deeper level.

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How to overcome social anxiety FAQs

What is the root cause of social anxiety?

Social anxiety can be influenced by a mix of genetics, brain chemistry, and life experiences, including childhood trauma ⁹. For many Black women, it may also be shaped by cultural and societal pressures to overperform just to earn a seat at the table.

Is social anxiety the same as shyness?

Shyness and social anxiety are not the same. Shyness is viewed more as a personality trait. Social anxiety, on the other hand, can be more intense and debilitating, affecting your ability to function or feel safe in social situations ¹.

Does social anxiety go away?

While it’s rare for social anxiety symptoms to go away on their own, they can be managed. Your symptoms may improve over time with the right support, which could include therapy, medication, and a strong circle. There may not be a quick cure, but relief is possible, and you deserve it.

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References

¹ Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) – Symptoms and causes. (2025). Mayo Clinic; https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/social-anxiety-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353561

² Editor. (2024, September 9). Time Wellness. Time Wellness Arkansas. https://timewellnessar.com/overcoming-social-anxiety-identifying-triggers-and-finding-solutions/

³ Engle, J. (2023, September 12). Social Anxiety Support Center. Social Anxiety Support Center. https://www.socialanxietysupportcenter.com/blog/how-cognitive-distortions-cause-social-anxiety

⁴ Kindred, R., Bates, G. W., & McBride, N. L. (2022). Long-term outcomes of cognitive behavioural therapy for social anxiety disorder: A meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 92, 102640–102640. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2022.102640

⁵ Liu, X., Yi, P., Ma, L., Liu, W., Deng, W., Yang, X., Liang, M., Luo, J., Li, N., & Li, X. (2021). Mindfulness-based interventions for social anxiety disorder: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psychiatry Research, 300, 113935. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2021.113935

⁶ Cox, B. J., Fleet, C., & Stein, M. B. (2004). Self-criticism and social phobia in the US national comorbidity survey. Journal of Affective Disorders, 82(2), 227–234. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2003.12.012

⁷ Werner, K. H., Jazaieri, H., Goldin, P. R., Ziv, M., Heimberg, R. G., & Gross, J. J. (2011). Self-compassion and social anxiety disorder. Anxiety, Stress, & Coping, 25(5), 543–558. https://doi.org/10.1080/10615806.2011.608842

⁸ Beckers, T., Hermans, D., Lange, I., Luyten, L., Scheveneels, S., & Bram Vervliet. (2023). Understanding clinical fear and anxiety through the lens of human fear conditioning. Nature Reviews Psychology, 2(4), 233–245. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44159-023-00156-1

⁹ Social Anxiety Disorder: Symptoms, Tests, Causes & Treatments. (2022, April 14). Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22709-social-anxiety

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