How to find a therapist for the first time (and what to expect)

To find a therapist for the first time, start with your needs, search profiles that match your preferences, and reach out to a few therapists before committing to a session.

Starting therapy can be overwhelming, especially when you don’t know where to begin.

You may feel nervous or vulnerable. Maybe you’re even doubtful that therapy will work. All of those feelings are valid.

But you should also feel proud. 

Being willing to start therapy is a powerful step on your healing journey and a relentless act of self-love.

This article supports your self-love journey by walking you through how to find a therapist for the first time, what a good one looks like, and what to expect in your first session.

Why the right therapist matters

Finding the right therapist for the first time can make or break your healing journey. 

You’re trusting this person to listen to feelings you likely haven’t shared with your closest friends. They’ll need the courage and skill to challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs you’ve held for decades with empathy and compassion.

Your therapist should also be qualified to handle the symptoms you’re experiencing. They should understand stress, anxiety, depression, or whatever you face to help you make progress. 

Finding a good therapist may seem daunting. Knowing what to look for can make it a little easier.

What does a good therapist look like?

A good therapist is qualified and approachable. Here’s what to look for in your search.

• Experienced. Therapists can specialize in different mental health conditions, like general anxiety, stress, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or an eating disorder. Look for someone who has experience with what you’re dealing with. 
• Unbiased and culturally aware. Your therapist should understand the unique struggles we face as Black women. Also, look for someone who accepts and respects your values and identity to ensure they are unbiased in their guidance and can truly help you heal.
• Empathetic and compassionate. Therapy must be a safe space where you can share anything. You shouldn’t be afraid of how your therapist will respond. A good one communicates with kindness, not judgment. 
• Exceptional listener. You’ll talk a lot in therapy. Your therapist should be present and engaged, recalling things you’ve mentioned before and observing body language, facial expressions, or other nonverbal cues.
• Strong communicator. Since you’ll look to your therapist for guidance, they should be able to communicate their approach and ideas – not afraid to challenge unhealthy thought patterns to help you reach your goals.

How to find a therapist for the first time

Try the following steps to find your therapist. Don’t be afraid to trust your gut throughout the process.

Start with therapy goals

Before reaching out to a therapist, take time to think through your goals. Therapy goals are what you hope to accomplish working with your therapist. 

People seek therapy for a variety of reasons – chronic stress, anxiety, prolonged sadness, or overcoming trauma are just a few. You don’t need to nerd out researching every mental health disorder. But jot down your major symptoms to help you and the therapist determine if it makes sense to partner together. 

Check your insurance

If you have health insurance, your plan might cover therapy as an essential health benefit ¹. You could save significantly by searching for therapists who accept your insurance. 

Not all therapists take insurance, and the cost difference can be pretty significant. 

Without insurance, expect to pay $100 to $200 per session for in-person therapy or up to $400 monthly for online therapy. With insurance, sessions drop to around $20 on average for in-network and $60 for those who are out-of-network ².

You may still have affordable therapy options if you can’t use insurance. Look for therapists who offer sliding scale fees based on income. You may also have low- or no-cost therapy through nonprofit organizations in your area, like the Black Women’s Mental Health Institute.

Decide on in-person or online therapy

Traditional, in-person therapy involves going to a therapist’s physical office for face-to-face sessions. 

Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp, Talkspace, and Headway gained popularity during the pandemic. With online therapy, you can have live sessions through video, phone, or chat. You can typically join sessions from your phone, tablet, or computer from anywhere with an internet connection.

Both in-person and online therapy are generally considered effective ³. Meeting face-to-face can be a great way to limit distractions and build a connection with your therapist. Online sessions can be less intimidating for first-timers ⁴.

Some therapists prefer in-person therapy for severe symptoms, like suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviors ⁵. Keep your symptoms in mind as you choose the best format for you.

Search therapist profiles

There are several directories you can search to find a therapist who meets your needs, like Psychology Today, Good Therapy, and Mental Health Match. 

Here are a few things to look for while searching for therapists.

• Insurance: Check to see which insurance providers the therapist accepts, if any.
• Licenses: Psychiatrists (MD or DO) can diagnose and treat mental illness with therapy and medication. Licensed professional counselors (LPCs), social workers (LCSWs), and psychologists (PhD or PsyD) are trained to provide therapy but can’t prescribe medication.
• Focus areas: A therapist may specialize in stress, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, grief or more. Look for someone who has experience with the symptoms you’re dealing with.
• Communities: It’s important to feel seen and accepted by your therapist. It’s okay to look for a therapist who is comfortable working with Black women, LGBTQ+, 65 and older, executives, Christians, or any community you’re a part of.
• Therapeutic method: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most common methods therapists use, but there are several other frameworks they can specialize in. If you have a preference, make sure you’re comfortable with the methods listed on the therapist’s profile.
• Therapy format: If you prefer online or in-person therapy, see if the therapist supports your desired format.

Message a few that look good

Once you’ve found a few therapists that look promising, send each one a message or email to see if they are accepting new clients.

In your note, briefly introduce yourself and share what help you’re looking for. You can ask how much the therapist charges, whether they accept insurance, and if they’re available on the days and times you prefer.

If you don’t get a response within a week, follow up and continue contacting more therapists. 

Mental health professionals have been bombarded since the pandemic, so plan to reach out to quite a few if you have to. You can instead sign up for an online therapy platform that matches you with a therapist based on your needs and preferences.

Schedule a consultation

Some therapists offer a free consultation to help you determine if they’re a good fit. 

Use this time to share a few things about yourself and what you hope to get from therapy. Pay attention to how it feels to connect with this person. Get a sense of their personality – how they listen, whether they ask follow-up questions, and if they seem compassionate or understanding. 

You may also have time to ask questions about their approach and what you can expect if you move forward with them.

Evaluate if the therapist is a fit

Take time to reflect after your therapy consultation.

• Was the therapist easy to talk to?
• Did you feel seen, heard, and understood?
• Do you feel comfortable sharing more in future sessions?

If you’re not sold on the therapist, you don’t have to continue with them. These professionals understand the importance of a genuine connection. It’s perfectly normal to explore other options until you find the right match who can help with your mental health.

What to expect in your first therapy session

Each therapist can have a unique approach to the first session. Generally, here’s what you can expect.

• Paperwork: You may need to complete intake forms that document your symptoms,  medical history, and insurance information. The therapist may require you to sign acknowledgments for the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), consent to treat, or other forms outlining their policies and procedures ⁶.
• Introductions: Much of your first session will likely be spent with you and your therapist getting to know each other. Particularly, your therapist will want to know what brings you to therapy.
• Therapist’s approach: After hearing your background, your therapist may share a bit about theirs and how they’d like to approach things going forward. If they don’t share it upfront, this is a great time to ask. 
• Therapy goals: You may establish high-level goals with your therapist during the first session or at least start the process.
• Questions and housekeeping: At the end of the session, you may have time to ask additional questions and make sure you’re set on the logistics for your next appointment – if you still feel comfortable moving forward with this therapist.

When trying to find a therapist for the first time, it’s normal to feel nervous, sad, or overwhelmed. But it can be worth it when you find the right one and work together to improve your mental health.

Give yourself grace, and take it one step at a time. 

How to find a therapist for the first time FAQs

What is the first step in finding a therapist?

To find your first therapist, start by identifying your goals. Consider the mental health conditions or symptoms you’re experiencing so you can find a therapist that meets your needs. Also, consider whether they accept insurance, hold in-person or online sessions, and how they approach treatment. 

What should I ask in a therapy consultation?

A therapy consultation is your opportunity to share a bit about yourself and get to know the therapist. You can ask, “What is your experience helping people with my symptoms?” “What would your approach be for my situation?” Or “What can I expect in our weekly sessions?” Feel free to ask any questions to help you decide whether to continue working with them.

What if therapy doesn’t work for me?

If therapy doesn’t work for you, that’s okay. Continue exploring other ways to care for your mental health or seek treatment for a specific condition. But before you give up on therapy, give yourself time to find the right therapist and approach. It may take several tries before finding your match. Even after finding the right therapist, it can take a while to share and work through your challenges.

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References

¹ Mental health and substance abuse health coverage options. (2025). HealthCare.gov. https://www.healthcare.gov/coverage/mental-health-substance-abuse-coverage/

² How Much Does Therapy Cost? (2023). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/therapy/how-much-does-therapy-cost

³ Waite, M. R., Diab, S., & Adefisoye, J. (2022). Virtual Behavioral Health Treatment Satisfaction and Outcomes Across Time. Journal of Patient-Centered Research and Reviews, 9(3), 158–165. https://doi.org/10.17294/2330-0698.1918

⁴ Moudatsou, M., Stavropoulou, A., Rovithis, M., & Koukouli, S. (2024). Evaluation of Online Counseling through the Working Experiences of Mental Health Therapists Amidst the COVID-19 Pandemic. Healthcare, 12(4), 495. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare12040495

⁵ Ko, N. J. (2021). Virtual Therapy vs. In-Person Therapy. Psychology.org. https://www.psychology.org/resources/virtual-therapy-vs-in-person/

⁶ The Complete List of Policies and Paperwork for Your Therapy Practice | Heard. (2024). Joinheard.com. https://www.joinheard.com/articles/the-complete-list-of-policies-and-paperwork-for-your-therapy-practice